whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
