Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have aggressive nipples.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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