why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
