Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
