so explain again why im purple
no
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
