Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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