I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
