fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Randomize
