Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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