i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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