i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
