So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
send nudes
from the living room?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
