we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
