Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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