She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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