Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
