One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
