he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
