I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't think brook has ever known best
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
