Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
