i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
