I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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