I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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