the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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