i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
