Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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