this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and she was petting her beer can
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
