Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
