I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He did a backflip because drugs
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