Sponge bath it is.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
