why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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