Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
