I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
