you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
