Got a toothbrush?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
