i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
