i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
