This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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