College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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