Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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