@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
