"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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