I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
