I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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