Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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