this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
