she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
