his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
