Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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