The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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