He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
