woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
